The Universe, Earl Grey, and a Duck is available at online bookstores everywhere including:
The Universe, Earl Grey, and a Duck
“Armageddon has never been so funny…”
What happens when humankind finally receives the cosmic sign sought for centuries, and it’s EXIT?
Six months after viewing Earth’s apocalyptic future directly through the Mind of the Universe, known as John Doe, Earl’s efforts to dislodge humanity’s indifference are firmly mired in a global swamp of unbridled apathy. Try as he might, Earl’s ominous warnings and startlingly accurate predictions have only accelerated the inevitable…
As the human concept of time grows short, Earl must decide to stick around for the fireworks or Run Like Hell.
Earl Grey, with fatherly advice from the ever-present Mind of the Universe, a cosmic-sized entity known as John Doe, resumes his quest to save humanity from imminent extinction.
Leveraging his access to past and future timelines, Earl presents disturbing evidence and undeniable arguments designed to shake humanity from its lethargic indifference. However, as usual, Earl’s daily life remains mired in debilitating bouts of dwindling self-confidence, selfish distractions, and highly inopportune attention deficits.
In need of help and numerous bodyguards, Earl forms J.D. and Associates, a company dedicated to the preservation of Homo Sapiens. Along with his pint-sized best friend Orlando, Mary-Lynn Wu, his beautiful and resourceful girlfriend, and retired Monsignor Matthew Bellecourt, Earl travels the world in search of political or religious support. But after being met with unbridled apathy, Earl starts to question whether humanity is even worth the effort. With cracks forming in his relationship with Mary-Lynn and the worst of humanity plotting his demise, Earl seeks guidance from John Doe, only to discover the Mind of the Universe might not be playing with a full deck of cards.
UEGD picks up six months after the events of Nothing Sacred – A Divine Comedy. Fans of the critically applauded novel will be delighted to catch up on Earl’s bumbling efforts and those of his numerous adversaries, such as the U.S. Government, the Vatican, the Bilderberg Group, the Raelian religion, the C.I.A., and the worst Special Ops team in military history.
Nothing Sacred is available at online bookstores everywhere including:
Nothing Sacred
“Shades of Douglas Adams…”
Meet Earl Grey, a down-on-his-luck small-time newspaper reporter. So far, Earl’s pre-mid-life crisis has included a nasty divorce, a dead-end job, and a shit-ton of psychological baggage leftover from childhood. So the news of his sudden appointment as Media Liaison for God Himself comes as no surprise. Just another day in hell, complete with panic attacks, self-doubt, and 5 a.m. wake-up calls…
It’s 2005, and the Almighty’s earth-shattering arrival in Phoenix, Arizona, has ignited worldwide debate. Found near death in the Arizona desert, this elderly, foul-mouthed, eccentric dressed in Armani is admitted to the psychological ward of the Phoenix General Hospital. His only demand? To relate His urgent global message via one hand-picked human being. And, to the considerable surprise of all humanity, it’s Earl.
Earl Grey, atheist by nature, cynic by trade, gets coerced into interviewing this alleged God and relaying His words to a waiting global press. Earl’s staunch disbelief and staggering lack of enthusiasm are evident from minute one, that is… until the miracles begin.
Soon, Earl finds himself surrounded by a veritable feast of both loveable and despicable characters, all of whom are not entirely what they seem. And Earl quickly learns that with great access comes great danger, finding himself neck-deep in a Who-Is-It mystery of biblical proportions.
Earl’s problems are initiated by the scheming machinations of the Acting Hospital Administrator, Frank Shedmore and his Chief Medical Director, Dr. Rory MacMann. God’s fortuitous arrival, seemingly dropping in their laps, becomes the nucleus of a plan to revive the Hospital’s horrible reputation.
Next up, enter the Catholic Church God-Squad, demanding proof that this so-called God is indeed divine. Quickly followed by the arrivals of the FBI, a hapless hitman and a foul-mouthed satanic visitor wrapped in holy garb. In need of balance and sanity, Earl confides in Orlando, his pint-sized chauffeur, and Mary-Lynn Wu, a beautiful TV news reporter – both of whom want nothing more than to help Earl in his quest for the truth. Or do they?
Lastly, of course, there’s “God” Himself, or John Doe, as he’s known to the international media looming large outside the hospital doors. Is this unusual man actually God… or possibly something far more intriguing?
With the very survival of humankind at stake, Earl must uncover the truth about John Doe before His time on earth runs out. That is… if time ever existed in the first place.